Ok, I’m going to use tinned mushy peas, I haven’t got time to soak & cook proper peas, but what about making some form of chips (fried sliced potatoes, like big chips but healthier and you know how important that is to me 
) from real potatoes, and doing a nice fillet of fish in some fresh batter. Hmmmm, this could just work 
I love the distinctive taste of plaice. Don’t you think that God scored a bit of an evolutionary own-goal when he designed a fish that was the same shape as a frying pan?
A couple of nice plaice fillets, a couple of nice spuds, some mushy peas and one or two other things
Peel & slice the spuds....
....then fry in vegetable oil. This is a fine balance between browning the spuds and spraying the whole of the inside of your Bongo with oil
Whisk some seasoned flour, cornflour and sparkling water together
Meanwhile, warm some mushy peas. No artificial colours here
Once the spuds are done, put to one side and fry the coated plaice....
....and serve with lashings of bread & butter
A double-whammy on the evolutionary own-goal score, it’s also a perfect fit on Warburton’s Toastie sliced bread
Now you could argue that this should be disqualified for becoming a buttie of sorts, but isn’t it so much more appealing than a cheese salad sandwich from the local Texaco garage
TIP: Don’t drop the camera mid-cooking. It’s difficult enough doing some of these things single-handedly and in a bit of a rush without trying to take photos as well. But if you’re going to drop the camera, don’t drop it into the mushy peas whilst manipulating a plaice fillet in the batter and therefore clearly incapacitated. Mushy peas on the lens is difficult to clean off and meanwhile the food is at risk of burning
hope your camera's ok 
No no no no no, boiled spuds wouldn't be the same at all. But if we were on EHU we could cheat and use a deep-fat fryer for the spuds