I found interior light switch left at ON (ie not "Door"), measured the Battery at 5V

(It need only a tyre and front suspension drop links on MOT mid-Aug, then 800 faultless miles to the Lakes, before one of us left it on

But today (with the flattie swapped-out for charging) it's the same using a spare Battery @12.5V.
**Nothing** works apart from Headlights (battery drops to 11.9V), but it stays @12.5V when Key is turned to Start (does not drop a millivolt).
Auto Selector is in "Park" (where I left it), waggled it but could not move it.
All FUSES under the bonnet bleep when tested ie are short/good. Cabin fuses next ...
Advice appreciated.
Eg could some Relay have stuck? Surely a failed Starter Motor would still drop volts?